Anticipation and Trepidation

As I prepare for my first day on my new job -- coming up in less than 12 hours! -- I realize that it has been 24 years since I last started a job that was truly new, i.e., I didn't know the people, or the company/department, or the policies, or exactly what my job was going to be like. Ever since then I've either moved back into jobs that I had before, working with people I already had known for years, or, in the case of my last transition, to The Company, I had already worked for them as an independent contractor for four years, had made numerous trips to Norfolk, and knew all the people and how things were done.

Going into the unknown is a lot scarier at 54 than it is at 30. You'd think it would be the other way around -- that another 24 years of work experience and just plain living would make it easier. Not so. I suppose it's partly the fact that I haven't been out of the workforce this long (six months) for 28 years.

I keep wondering what dreadful faux pas I'm going to commit. I'll be so concerned not to be late my first day, I'll probably be there half an hour too early. Unless of course there's some massive traffic jam on I-264, which is certainly within the realm of possibility. Once I get there, will I remember the code they gave me for the combination lock on the front door, or will I have to ring the doorbell? Will I be able to navigate my way around a Windows machine after 19 years on Macs? Will I be dressed too casually, or not casually enough? And what the hell did I do with my personal office supplies, mug, and other stuff I brought home when I got laid off from The Company? God knows I cleared enough stuff out of my office and hauled it home to furnish an efficiency apartment, but still some box or other seems to have gone missing.

Still, it's nice to know there'll be a paycheck coming on the 15th, and another on the 31st, and so on. It's also nice to know that my new health insurance plan will take effect tomorrow, and just in time, too, as from what I have heard I would otherwise be uninsured.

Now I think it's time for me to do a final check to make sure I've got everything together that I need to take in to work tomorrow, and then set my alarm clock (ugh) and go to bed. Good night.