The line forms at the back

One of the "curses" I inherited from my mother is an uncanny ability to get in the one line in a store, bank, or fast-food joint that will bog down interminably due to a dimwit cashier, a nitwit customer who either can't make up his/her mind or has an unbelievably complex set of transactions, and/or equipment failure. If there is only one line, I will invariably get in it just in time for the convergence of some or all of the above circumstances. I think it must be a twisted form of Murphy's Law.

Case in point: my trip to Arby's to pick up supper tonight. When I arrived, there were no other customers at the counter. Zip. Nada. So I stood back and took the time to peruse the menu and decide what I wanted before going up to the counter to place my order.

Big mistake. While I'm perusing, this guy comes in and heads for the counter. Well, it's just one guy. It's not like a tour bus just pulled in or anything. So I finish deciding and walk up to stand behind the new customer (there's only one order taker) and wait.

And wait. I wasn't really paying much attention at first, but as far as I could tell he was having excessive difficulty making up his mind and was grilling the order taker about prices, specials, coupons... I don't know what all he was on about, just that it was taking an inordinate amount of time. Finally he got his order placed and the cashier tells him the total. Customer questions the total. Cashier explains that the price he was quoted was before tax. Customer expresses astonishment that there could be that much tax. (He must have been a tourist.) Finally customer pays and gets his change, and cashier directs him to the other end of the counter to pick up his order. Customer now requests a receipt.

At this point, the equipment malfunction kicks in: cashier tries to get the printer to spit out a receipt after the fact, and fails. "Is this thing working?" he asks another guy behind the counter. Other guy comes over and fiddles with the register and the printer, and finally gets a receipt for customer. In the meantime, cashier/order taker asks me if he can take my order. Yes! Dear God, yes!

I order my French Dip ("Do you want a combo with that?" No.), Loaded Potato Bites ("Regular or large?" Regular.), and small vanilla shake. He rings up my total of $6.14, and I give him a ten and 15 cents. Thank God for cash registers that tell the cashiers how much change to give back, because I don't think he would have figured it out on his own. He digs into the cash drawer and comes up with three $1's and a penny. Time to call other guy and ask him to get some more ones. "Unless you'd like four quarters instead?" No thanks. Other guy apparently has to dig them out of the safe. Finally I get my other $1, and my food. I think all told I spent 20 minutes for a 5-minute order.

Remind me some day to tell you about the time my checkout in a supermarket was interrupted by the total replacement of the cash register.