Solution in search of a problem

The food section of the local paper recently carried news of this culinary breakthrough: Land O Lakes half sticks of butter. According to the article, the new "half stick packaging allows you to unwrap a quarter cup of butter at a time -- convenient for baking and other uses where only a small amount is needed." Or, in Land O Lakes' own words:

Introducing one pound NEW LAND O LAKES® Butter in Half Sticks. It's the same butter you love, now in a size convenient for recipes that call for ¼ cup butter! Also available in ½ pound package.

• Quick & easy to use
• No cutting
• No re-wrapping

It's comforting to know that the food industry is looking out for the welfare of cooks everywhere by eliminating the arduous task of cutting a stick of butter in half and rewrapping the unused portion. (I, personally, am embarrassed to admit that at times I have avoided the onerous rewrapping task by placing the unused half stick directly on a butter dish for table use.) And I'm sure they will charge no more than a 75% premium for saving you the trouble.

But the real question is, will they take the next logical step and introduce Butter in Quarter Sticks? There must be numerous recipes out there that call for 1/8 cup of butter. The cooks using such recipes deserve the same level of relief as the 1/4 cup butter recipe cooks! We will settle for no less.

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Mmm, pizza

In an era when supermarkets fill prescriptions, drugstores carry electronics, KMart hawks Craftsman tools, and WalMart stocks damned near everything, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by the news that Dunkin Donuts is adding personal pizzas, flatbread sandwichs, and "hash brown snacks" to a menu hitherto pretty much limited to, well, donuts (and the coffee to dunk'em in).

Oh, granted, they long since branched out into other pastry-type stuff like muffins and croissants. But... pizza? I mean, I don't have anything against pizza; I've been known to frequent plenty of pizza purveyors. But the point is, when I want pizza, I go to Papa John's, and when I want donuts, I go to Dunkin Donuts.

Next thing you know, we'll be buying groceries at gas stations.

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