7.25.2005

Gerhardt's Law


Gerhardt's Law
If you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply because they will stop making it.

And McCracken's Extension reads "... or stop selling it throughout the entire region where I live." Now this is the story of my life. If I had a nickel for every product I've liked that promptly disappeared from the market -- well, I wouldn't be rich, but I'd sure have a helluva lotta nickels! This unfortunate trait was inherited from my mother, along with always ending up in the slowest line at the store. (My mother, you see, was a Murphy, and ran afoul of Murphy's Laws and their ilk with great regularity.)

What kind of things am I talking about? Here's a random (i.e., whatever pops into my head in the next few minutes) sample.
  • Jergens' Naturals soap with aloe and lanolin. At least I have to assume they stopped making it (at least in the US -- I got that image off a Canadian site), since I haven't been able to find it anywhere for a couple of years. Actually, this was the second part of a 1-2 punch; I had been using a very nice aloe soap from Bath & Body Shop for quite a while, until that was discontinued, so I switched to the Jergens'.
  • Ivory Shampoo. This was great while it lasted; unscented, worked well, and inexpensive, especially if you got it someplace like Wal-Mart. So of course, they stopped making it. I think Pantene shampoos replaced it, which cost a lot more.
  • Betty Crocker Snackin' Cake mix. Well, to be honest, I just looked on the bettycrocker.com site, and supposedly it's still part of the product line. Where they sell it, I have no idea, but it's not in South Hampton Roads. This still qualifies under the original law, though, because they used to make Snackin' Cake mix around 25-30 years ago and discontinued it (again, in the US -- you could still get it in Canada). So I was quite pleased when it rose again, phoenix-like, 3 or 4 years ago. Unfortunately, it didn't last long around here.
  • The original Coca-Cola. Yes, we got it back, more or less, but only after millions of Coke fanatics raised merry old hell about the switch to that insipid "New Coke", and it was never quite the same (I believe that's when they changed from using all sucrose to part high-fructose corn syrup). This was one case where I was able to follow the advice of Gerhardt's Law and stock up, because you couldn't miss the publicity about it. Most products that disappear do so silently; you just one day go to buy a new bottle of shampoo and find that your brand is gone. But our drugstore chain must have had a huge stash of original Coke in the warehouse, because they continued selling it for weeks after other stores had restocked with New Coke, and I socked away enough in my basement that it lasted me until the company relented and reissued Classic Coke.
  • PlayMates Star Trek action figures. I wish they had kept producing them at least long enough to make a Major Rakal figure. :-(
  • Stouffer's Lobster Newburg. It was pricy, but man, was it good for an occasional indulgence.
  • Some brand of gravy mix, the name of which I have forgotten (Mrs. Something-or-other), but it came in a little reclosable canister so you could spoon out as much as you wanted, instead of the one-cup packets, and you could stir it into hot liquid without it lumping up like flour does.
  • Kellogg's for a while made a cereal that was sort of like mini shredded wheats, but with a fruity center. It was quite tasty, so of course it didn't last. Can't have that...
  • Mazola 100% corn oil margarine. Fleischmann's 100% corn oil margarine.
  • J.C. Penney's cushion-sole socks in the blue denim heather color.
  • Orange-flavored canned cake frosting (I can't remember if it was Duncan Hines or Betty Crocker that made it).
  • Star Trek CCG First Edition.
I could go on, but you get the picture. This just scratches the surface of Gerhardt's Law as it applies to me.

2 comments:

Jono said...

Well, they don't make Star Trek CCG 1st Edition anymore... but at least you can still find it - and for cheap!

I know what you mean though... my dad's favorite cologne is called 'Royal Copenhagen'. It's not made anymore - but we found bottles available at a flea market down here in Florida when they visited in April. Now he doesn't have to ration it. Oh, and guess what he's going to get for Christmas...

Me? I liked Frosted Cheerios. Tasted a little like Frosted Flakes with a Cherrios oat center. They didn't last long.

Kathy said...

That's odd. I've heard rumors that would entirely contradict any such product being released in 2006.

I'm trying to be subtle. Is it working?