Advances in medicine

Well, the "cone compression" mammogram turned out to be exactly what I anticipated (i.e., the same except they squeeze harder). And the results were pretty much the same, too: the "spiculated mass" is still there. So the radiologist ordered an ultrasound too. His opinion is that it's a small cyst and I should have a repeat exam in 6 months. However, my PCP already referred me to a surgeon for consultation, so today I picked up all my films for the surgeon to peruse next week. I think I detect a biopsy in the offing. It occurs to me that my mother, when she was ten years younger than I am now, also had a biopsy for a lump that, fortunately, proved to be only a cyst. Keeping my fingers crossed that I will have a similarly benign outcome, because I've got even more medical fun and games coming up.

At my annual physical this year, my doctor, having cleverly detected that it has been ten years since my baseline colonoscopy, calculated that it was now time for another, a circumstance I have been studiously avoiding. (Actually, the first one was technically just a flexible sigmoidoscopy. This one will be the real thing.) Today I had a preliminary appointment with the gastroenterologist to get my marching orders for the grand cleanout prior to the actual procedure, which I haven't scheduled yet, for an excellent reason: I need to line up a "chauffeur" first. See, for a full colonoscopy, they're going to put me to sleep (which is A Good Thing™, trust me -- I was awake for the sigmoidoscopy and swore I would never do that again), and I'm not allowed to drive afterward, apparently lest I have a relapse into unconsciousness. So I've got some logistics to work out here.

Evidently they've made some advances in the preparation part of this procedure in the last decade, and a bloody good thing, too; ten years ago, it involved drinking (well, attempting to drink... I made it through only about 3/4 of it) a gallon of putrid solution. IIRC, a Fleet's enema or two was involved as well. Now, it appears there's an option that includes a much smaller volume of putrid stuff, plus a large volume of flavorless stuff that you can dissolve in anything. (The instructions said Gatorade but the NP said it could be any clear liquid.) And no Fleet's enemas, either.

Maybe it's just as well I'm unemployed right now. At least I don't have to use sick time for all this testing.