Or even a lizard...

So, once that CSR deleted my ex from my car insurance policy, and somehow lowered my rate to boot, all is good, right? If you believe that, I'd like to sell you the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel.

Oh, on the face of it, it looked like it was taken care of. When I logged in to my account online, the Welcome message was back to welcoming only me. And on the Driver tab, he was listed as having been removed from the policy. So far, so good.

Three days later...

My updated policy declarations and insurance cards arrive in the mail -- addressed to both me and my ex. With his name listed on the declarations and the insurance cards. You may recall that the renewal paperwork I just got did not have his name on them. So... removing him from the policy adds his name to the paperwork?

I call customer service again. I explain once more how I had his name removed 5 years ago, and then it turned up on my online account, and how the last CSR had removed it. I point out that if I did not want his name on the online account, it made sense that I didn't want him on the paperwork, either. She doesn't have any idea why this happened, but with many apologies she goes into my account and nukes the listing for him completely. He no longer appears as having been removed from the policy; he isn't listed at all. OK.

Four days later. Another set of updated policy declarations and insurance cards arrive in the mail. His name is still on everything. By now I've got the insurance company on speed dial. I go through the whole explanation again. This CSR is as mystified as all the rest. His name isn't in my online account. The paperwork should match. But it doesn't. She says she will email me an insurance card (in pdf) with only my name on it. In a few minutes, I get it. Yes, it has only my name on it.

As I write this, it has been another three days since then. So far (knock on wood), nothing more in the mail.

If I get any more mail from the insurance company addressed to my ex, I'm going to roast a gecko.