Limited progress

The second time I was laid off, I noted that the VEC had finally progressed to the point of delivering unemployment benefits via direct deposit or debit card instead of cutting and mailing paper checks (as they were still doing three years before, during my first layoff).

This time around, I was hoping for more innovations or streamlining in the whole process, but so far my application for unemployment and registration for job services has proceeded pretty much the same as in 2008; they still had my records on file and again I just had to update them with my latest (terminated) employment. A determination of benefits and a notification of my PIN arrived in the mail yesterday (in two separate envelopes – now really, was that necessary?). The PIN is again unchanged from the one originally assigned to me way back in '05, and the amount of my weekly benefit, alas, is barely changed from '08: only 4% higher than three years ago. I suppose that's only to be expected considering the state of the economy over that time; I should probably consider myself lucky it didn't actually go down.

One thing that apparently has changed – and not for the better – is the number of positions showing up on the job boards for technical writers. They seemed to be much more prevalent three years ago. Mind you, I wasn't necessarily fully qualified for many of those positions (the one requiring experience with Navy small boat maintenance sticks in my mind for some reason), but at least they were there to apply for; after all, people posting job openings tend to go overboard with their requirement wishlists, knowing full well that they'll almost certainly have to settle for something a little more realistic. The pickings appear to be slimmer now.

Could be tricky to come up with two "job contacts" a week to qualify for benefits...

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8 + 68 + 12 = Finally!

8 months, 68 applications, 12 interviews.

That's what it took this time to land a job. Three years ago, it was 6 + 46 + 15. Stark illustration of the state of the economy: 33% more time, almost 50% more applications, 20% fewer interviews. And the interview rate is actually worse than it looks; only 7 of the 12 were actual full-scale interviews, with the rest being "screenings" over the phone that didn't lead to anything more. Last time around, it was 12 out of 15. So, really, more like 40% fewer "real" interviews.

Oh, and it's a 10% pay cut compared to my last position. :-(

Nonetheless, it includes fully paid health insurance, ten holidays (first time I've ever gotten all the Federal holidays, like Veteran's Day), and a 401(k) that they pay 3% into whether I contribute or not. And the commute is no worse, and perhaps easier, than for my last job. So I can't really complain.

All that aside, I have to say that today was the oddest "first day on a new job" I have ever experienced.


I was told to arrive at 9 AM for "check in". I did so, and spent just one hour filling out paperwork, going over benefits, and getting assigned an email/intranet account.

At that point my new supervisor said that was all he had for me to do today, because the project I'm assigned to (technical writing/software documentation for an off-site client) isn't quite ready to start. He said I could go home, call him tomorrow around 1 PM (after the project's "kick-off" meeting), and probably my first full day will be Wednesday.

So, apparently I am on the payroll as of today, but have nothing to do until Wednesday. And next Monday is Columbus Day (one of those Federal holidays), so I'm off that day. Nothing like a low-key start on a new job.

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Pizza makers, diesel technicians, and shoe shiners = Internet/New Media?

Speaking of job-hunting, the usefulness of our local newspaper's online job listings took a major hit five months ago when they "upgraded" the website. It still provides a search by (ostensibly) "job category", but it's now virtually useless.

Before the advent of the new-and-improved site, a search in, for example, the "Internet/New Media" category returned a list of jobs that almost always had some reasonable relationshup to the Internet, presumably because whoever placed the ad selected that category as being relevant to the job and the search engine selected any job that had been tagged with that category.

No more. Here's just a sampling of some of the jobs that are currently turning up in an Internet/New Media category search (and no, I am not making any of this up):

• HVAC Service Tech and Maintenance
• Pizza Maker, Delivery Drivers & Dishwashers
• CUNSTRUCTION [sic] TERRITORY MANAGER
• Diesel/Technician
• Live-in Auipair [sic] /Nanny
• Bankruptcy Paralegal
• Respiratory Therapist
• Firefighter
• Shoe Shine
• Sophisticated and savvy fashion buyer
• X-Ray Technician
• Pet Cremation Aftercare Coordinator
• Nurse Practitioner

When I first noticed this phenomenon, I didn't know what to make of it; it seemed so astonishingly random. Then I noticed two things: first, the problem seemed to be most acute in this specific category (Internet/New Media) and almost as bad in the Computers/Technology category; and second, various words in the job descriptions were highlighted in yellow, such as "computer", "online", "internet", and "yahoo.com".

Thus it dawned on me that the search engine was no longer looking for jobs tagged with a category (or at least not just those jobs), but was in fact performing a keyword search! Apparently someone got the bright idea not to simply rely on the category that the employer (who arguably would know best) said the job belonged to, and instead thought up a list of keywords to help identify jobs that would fit the category. Apparently it never occurred to them that, in an era when a large majority of job listings are likely to require an applicant to have "computer skills", to be able to "use the internet", to "apply online", or to email their resume to someyahoo@yahoo.com, those keywords might not be all that useful in distinguishing jobs that belong in the Internet/New Media or Computers/Technology categories.

Of course, these are just the categories of most interest to me. Other job categories aren't affected quite as much, but still get some pretty tenuous matches. For example, the Environmental/Agriculture category turns up a listing for an epidemiologist (due to a reference to "environmental health programs"); a Recreation/Sports category search yields jobs for a Line Cook (for a sports bar), a Firefighter (probably because it refers to "physical training" as part of the training), and an office assistant for a car dealer (the job includes "running errands"); and the Restaurant/Food Service category lists a Technical Support Representative for Canon (they have an "on-site cafeteria"), a janitor for a church (work hours specified to include a half hour "for lunch"), and even a truck driver for a contractor located on "Cook Blvd". (Oddly enough, the Healthcare/Medical category seems to be virtually free of this kind of false positives; I fully expected to find it loaded with jobs that specify benefits including medical/dental insurance.)

Clearly, this keyword business needs to be given some more thought. I'm not holding my breath waiting for it to change, though; I emailed the website's customer service contact about it five months ago, and as yet have gotten no reply.

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Easy come, easy go

When I wrote about my unexpected Emergency Unemployment Compensation, I mentioned that the online weekly claim form no longer asked for the number or names of job-search contacts. Well, that lasted for five weeks. When I logged in to file my claim today, those questions had inexplicably reappeared on the form, just as inexplicably as they disappeared five weeks ago. Fortunately, I really did have my requisite two contacts (as I have every week) to list.

The way the government operates, I expect the next development will be a letter from the VEC taking me to task for not providing the details of my job contacts for the last five weeks, and demanding I repay those benefits.

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Spoke too soon

OK, so I jumped the gun a bit when I said I was no longer unemployed, but rather "retired". It seems that while I wasn't paying close attention, the Federal Government decided to authorize Emergency Unemployment Compensation (EUC) for us folks who use up our standard 26 weeks, e.g., me. So I get a letter from the VEC with a form to fill out to apply for EUC, which I send in and get approved for another 13 weeks.

So I'm coming out of retirement for another three months of grasping at straws. The pickins, always slim, have turned downright skeletal; but somehow I don't think the VEC will accept "couldn't find anything I wasn't either drastically overqualified or drastically underqualified for" as an excuse for not making my two contacts a week. (Although, curiously, the online weekly claim form no longer asks me how many contacts I made in the previous week, or asks for details. Those questions just disappeared after the 26th week. But I was told I still had to meet the same criteria for "active job-hunting". Go figure.)

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From unemployed to retired

Yesterday was a milestone of sorts in my job search. I emailed off my 54th job application. Nothing special about the number 54, but it was the last application that I "have to" make. See, the VEC requires the unemployee to be "actively searching for employment" each week in order to draw unemployment benefits for that week, and the minimum criterion for an "active search" is two contacts each week. Some weeks it has been damned hard to find two jobs that I might be remotely qualified for, but I have nevertheless dutifully logged at least two a week (a process also known as "grasping at straws").

But all good things, they say, must come to an end, and so it is with unemployment benefits: this marks the 26th and final week that I'm eligible to draw benefits, which is a good news/bad news situation. The bad news is that the check (well, direct deposit) next Wednesday will be my last. The good news is that I need no longer grasp at employment straws, because the VEC will no longer care whether I am actively searching for work. The VEC, in fact, will henceforth ignore my existence completely.

So, where does this leave me? For now, I'm going to consider myself an early retiree. Of course, it's barely possible that one of the last few applications I made might yet hit pay dirt... but I'm not holding my breath. I'll continue to watch the job boards for possibilities, but I'll no longer feel compelled to apply for jobs I don't really want and/or I'm not totally qualified for, just to fill a quota.

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Job search update

Since my layoff in January, I haven't said much here about job-hunting (unlike during my job search three years ago). My reticence has been largely due to a dearth of substantive responses from potential employers to my applications.

Nine days after my layoff, having updated my resume, I sent out my first overtures to the workplace. In the ensuing five months, I have submitted a total of 40 job applications. From those 40 applications I have gotten exactly three interviews. I did get an offer of a fourth interview, which I declined when told that the salary was non-negotiable at 24K. (The job listing gave that as a minimum, with the salary supposedly "depending on experience and qualifications".) In addition, I got four "screening" phone calls, two of which were basically just checking to see if I was still interested after finding out the jobs entailed low pay and weird shifts, like 10 hour days, 3 on and 3 off, or late evening shifts to midnight and rotating Saturdays (I wasn't); the others would qualify as preliminary "phone interviews".


Results of the interviews? One explicit rejection (the interviewer at least had the decency to call and say I didn't get the job, and offered to pass my resume along to an affiliated company, which was the source of one of the phone interviews). The other two in-person interviews and the two phone interviews simply ended there -- they never called back or sent a rejection letter.

In comparison, during the 5-month span of my 2005 job hunt, I submitted 46 applications, had 12 in-person interviews and 3 phone interviews, and got 6 explict rejections (by phone, email, or mail), and one job offer, which I accepted. About the only comparison that marginally favors the current job hunt is in the matter of simple acknowledgment of receiving an application;
23 of the 46 applications in 2005 elicited no response at all, while only 12 of 38 so far have not produced at least a form email confirmation. (I'm leaving out the last two applications, sent late Friday afternoon, since there hasn't been time yet for them to be acknowledged.)

On the one hand, this is all rather discouraging. On the other hand, I'm getting a fair amount accomplished on various projects at home, so I'm not exactly chafing at the bit to go back to work. On the gripping hand, I miss a steady income, and the unemployment checks ain't gonna keep coming much longer.

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Oh, is that all it takes?

Judging by my job-hunting experience so far, Catbert must be writing up the job postings in this area.

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6 + 46 + 15 = Pay Dirt

6 months. 46 applications. 15 interviews.

That's what it took to get one job offer. But it all finally paid off yesterday. On August 1st, the ex-chemist/webmaster/photographer becomes a technical writer (at a more than 30% increase over previous salary!) for a local software/consulting company. I'll be writing software documentation, online help modules, and the like. It promises to be considerably saner than my last job.

My heartfelt thanks go out to my references who provided such glowing recommendations, as well as to my well-wishing friends for their moral support and good thoughts beamed to my new employer. I'll do my best to live up to your evaluations of my abilities.

I miss my former co-workers more than I can say. I will consider myself fortunate indeed if, in my new workplace, I can make half the friends and experience half the cameraderie I found in my time with The Company. I will also miss the proximity of the Kwans' Subway shop, the MacArthur Center Food Court, and the MacArthur Pharmacy, where they actually knew my name. I will not miss commuting into downtown Norfolk, paying for parking and health insurance, or having said health insurance periodically F-ed up by The Company's failure to pay the premiums.

Now I just need to banish the "permanent vacation" mindset engendered by my lengthy unemployment, and get used to getting up and going to work again five days a week. **Sigh** It was nice while it lasted, other than the lack of a paycheck.

I wish the best to those of you who are still looking (or God forbid, still at The Company). I know exactly how discouraging it is We're all pulling for you. Hang in there, and don't hesitate to ask for moral support and good thoughts.

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Interviews don't intimidate me any more.

After 15 of them (3 by phone and 12 in person), I've gotten used to them. What I can't stand is the waiting afterwards, like I'm doing now.

I'll be grateful for any positive thoughts you might beam my way.

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Interview analysis

I think the worst part of job hunting is going to an interview for a job that you're really interested in, and coming out feeling as if you blew it. I interviewed Wednesday for a chemist job with the City of Chesapeake (water quality). Piece of cake, right? After all, I worked as a chemist in a variety of capacities for over 25 years before becoming a webmaster. Well, unfortunately my last job as an analytical chemist ended 20 years ago, and while I was able to answer most of the questions they asked me about analytical methods, I drew a blank on ion chromatography.


Once I got home I googled the term and discovered that I actually do know the theory behind the method and have done similar analyses under a somewhat different name (ion-exchange chromatography), but the instrumentation in question only became available commercially in the last 10-15 years. No wonder I didn't know about it. :-(

The thing is, I can pick up any analytical procedure and instrumentation in no time flat -- I've done it many times. I have the chemistry background, and some things never change; acids still neutralize bases, copper ions still absorb the same wavelength of light, and the molecular weight of carbon dioxide is still 44. It's damned discouraging to be considered simultaneously overqualified and out-of-date.

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"So tell me, what interests you about this position?"

If you've ever read any of the surfeit of books available on answering interview questions (and I'm willing to bet most of you have, and recently, too), you know that many of them (the questions, not necessarily the books) are pretty stupid. I mean, in lots of cases, the interviewer knows damn well what the real answer is, without ever asking. You, the interviewee, also know damn well that you'd better not give the real answer; instead you weasel around the question with what you think the interviewer "wants" to hear, i.e., some version of what the book suggests is appropriate. Now, given that the interviewer, who has undoubtedly read some of the same books you have, knows that you know enough not to give the real answer and will spout some phony response from a book, this seems like a fairly unproductive exchange all around.

I think the question that bugs me the most is, "Why are you interested in this job?", said job being one that I am clearly over-qualified for and that pays well below my last salary (which they know from the detailed application form they make you fill out). [As an aside, why do the books all tell you never to put down your salary history, when the applications all say that if you don't complete all the requested information, they're going to file it in the circular file?]

Now c'mon, Mr./Ms. Interviewer. You can tell from my application that I've been out of work since January, and pretty likely you're aware that unemployment only lasts 26 weeks max, and that I probably am paying through the nose for COBRA health insurance (anyone my age -- which is pretty obvious when I'm sitting right there in your office -- isn't about to do without insurance if they can possibly help it). More to the point, I'd be willing to bet you also know that to draw unemployment I have to be "actively seeking" work to the tune of at least two "job contacts" per week. Just how many jobs do you think there are in Hampton Roads that I'm remotely qualified for? I'll tell you: just about enough for me to dredge up two a week that I can reasonably apply for with a straight face. In other words, I applied for your job because it was one of the two I could find that week that I could do, and I wanted (needed) to get an unemployment check for that week.

But I can't say that; instead I have to pretend I'm really just dying to put my skills to work making "valuable contributions" to your company's bottom line for 25% less than I used to make. And then you have to pretend that you believe it so we can get on with the interview and you can ask me what I think is my biggest weakness.

So tell me, what does the interviewer gain from this little game? He hasn't learned a damned thing about me he didn't already know, except that I've read the same interview books he has, which doesn't give him a clue whether I'd be a good hire or the employee from hell.

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Web-Based Harassment Training

I always thought online harassment just came naturally to some people. Who knew that you could get training for it at Virginia Wesleyan College?

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Ouch, I think I dislocated my job

You learn something new every day. Yesterday, I learned that we former employees of The Company That Must Not Be Named are not just laid off, terminated, transitioned out, or plain ol' unemployed. What we are, my friends, is dislocated. Who knew?

A couple of weeks ago I got one of those ominously official-looking envelopes in the mail from the VEC, which turned out to be an invitation. Specifically, I was "invited to participate in a Reemployment Services Orientation" to be held at the VEC office in Virginia Beach on May 18 from 9 to 4. Now, I can't say I was keen on going, but declining an invitation from the VEC probably isn't such a hot idea if one wants those unemployment checks to keep coming in the mail, which I do. Besides, it would count as one of my two required "job contacts" for the week. So I bit the bullet and headed on over to Viking Drive yesterday.

There were eight of us in the orientation session -- seven women and one man -- and we learned, among other things, "Why Are We Here?" This wasn't meant in the cosmic sense; it was about why we eight were there in this seminar. And the answer is... because Public Law 103 requires the VEC to "identify individuals who are most likely to benefit from additional job search assistance" and then tell us about reemployment services and job search skills. We lucky eight were selected because of factors like our industry, occupation, length of time in last job, education, and the current unemployment rate. And, they said, aside from the two military retirees who were transitioning to civilian employment, we are all "dislocated workers." That category includes (this is straight from the PowerPoint presentation) "Laid off. Terminated. Self-employed, but out of work. Displaced homemaker."

So the next time someone asks you why you left your last position, tell them you were dislocated. The VEC said so.

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The Search Continues

Well, no word yet from HRSD about the lab technician job. So Hampton Roads' drinking water remains safe, at least for the time being. And my income remains limited to Virginia's unemployment checks. To keep those coming, the unemployed worker must be "actively" looking for work each week. So I have to keep finding remotely reasonable jobs to apply for. "Remotely reasonable" being something that (a) pays more than unemployment, (b) I have at least half the requirements for, and (c) is within roughly 30 miles of my home (but preferably a helluva alot closer).

I do have another interview coming up, on Monday. Chartway Federal Credit Union wants an "e-business analyst" and they seem to think I might do. I'm not entirely sure what that is (who thinks up these job titles?), but I seem to meet the requirements, and it pays about the same as the lab tech job but with better hours, so interview I shall. I wonder if their fringe benefits include an employee discount program?

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The Search

Those of you who know me (and who else would conceivably be reading this?) know that I have been "retired" (aka unemployed) since January 24th. Not that I haven't been looking. And looking.

I just had my ninth interview (if you count the two phone interviews) yesterday. The positions have run the gamut from search engine optimizer to web content manager to chemistry lab technician to something called a document control coordinator. They all share the characteristic that none of the interviews so far has led to a job offer. Hell, five of the employers never even sent me a "thanks but no thanks" email. (One of those five did eventually send such a missive by snail mail -- only after I sent an email inquiring about my status a full week after they said they'd be making a decision.) Hiring etiquette seems to have taken a nosedive in the last few years.

And so I continue to surf the pages of CareerConnection.com, Monster.com, etc. for something I might be qualified for.

Frightening thought for the day: If Friday's interview pans out, and you live in Hampton Roads, I could end up responsible for monitoring the quality of your drinking water. So you can wish me luck. Or not. Take your pick.

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